Weird question for Buck... Rockstars and fragrances Sept 20, 2020 1:03:25 GMT via Tapatalk robreich, frog, and 1 more like this
Post by delclayman on Sept 20, 2020 1:03:25 GMT
While a bit off topic, but while we are discussing “fragrances”, I thought I might share this.. Story..
When I used to travel constantly for work I had a horrible “perfume” experience that I can almost still smell when I think about it... I mean HORRIBLE!
I booked a mid November flight from Cleveland to West Palm Beach Florida for a business meeting. While waiting to board the flight, a cute, albeit long parade of 25-30 sweet little old “blue haired” ladies were all being pushed by wheel chair attendants, and they started lining up at my gate for pre-boarding. There was also at least another 15-20 more that were mobile and walking with them.
Of the hundreds of thousands, and possibly millions of miles that I have flown, I had never seen anything quite like that. Usually it’s 3-4 pre-boarders for varying reasons. Odd, but no biggie right? Well.. Yes and no..
So, after all those nice senior ladies got pre-boarded and settled, general boarding began. I asked the gate attendant if she found it odd. She laughed and said it happens every year at this time. It’s part of their annual “snowbird migration”. Time for them to escape the blizzard ass cold winters of N.E. Ohio to the warm climates of Florida.. I said, cool! That’s awesome that they can do that, and I headed down the jetway..
Then it all “hit me”.. I walked onto the plane and POW!! Hit right in the face with the “Grandma Perfume Bat”. Not merely a drift of a grandmas sweet perfume fragrance, but an absolute assault on the olfactory senses. A true sensory overload. Like someone hooked kegs of old school, cheap perfume up to shower heads..
So, I reluctantly sat in my seat. Simultaneously, the guy next to me and I turned the overhead blower on full. We looked at each other both wondering what the hell was going on. The guy sitting next to me was actually the first one to break “the airplane passenger code of silence” and say something about it...
We both remarked how awful it was, and wondered why it was so damn strong... Just Imagine, 40+ sweet, little old ladies and grandmas, all drenched in different versions, brands and concoctions of bad perfume.. I got a headache that was so bad, that I got nauseous. I almost employed the barf bag a few times. But I manned up, drank two double vodkas neat, and held it down..
Afterwards, and in reflection, I realized that I was probably complicit, and part of the problem that we all horrifically experienced on that fateful day.
When I was a kid, for Christmas, I always bought both my grandmothers those cheap, horrible smelling perfume and powder combo kits. The cheap ones that the retail stores shamelessly hawked. All the kids back then did that. And looking back at it now, “the grandmas” probably thought, “damn! more of this freakin stuff”??!! But they probably didn’t want to hurt our feelings, so they couldn’t bring themselves to toss that horrible smelling, cheap, overly sweet, air thickening, oxygen depleting liquid out.
Both my grandmothers had well over 15 grandkids. I can remember that both had what seemed like a hundred bottles of “Charlie”, “Love’s Baby Soft”, “Estée Lauder”, Liz Taylor’s stuff and several different concoctions of Avon products all lined up 10-20 deep on their dressers.
And that’s why I’m pretty damn confident thats how and why all those sweet, wonderful, grandmas and elderly ladies, innocently stunk that plane up to high ass heaven for 2 hours and 45 minutes..
I try not to fly south from Late October until December anymore.